Conflict Change Management

I do wonder why do people say that one of the principal challenges for many people in today’s age is the aspect of Conflict and Change Management, when right through one’s life it is the main trait that every man seems to have unwittingly spent time cultivating and honing up. May be if we were to trace out the decisions taken through man’s evolution we would recognize that at each stage there are decision points that affects man for times to come. And these are the same decision points which man either revels in or has regrets for times to come.

The stage is set even before conception when the parents decide when they would like to start a family. There are even those who choose a mate based on the kind of features they would like their offspring to have. Once the key decision to start a family is taken and when the mother conceives, a fairly large majority still continue to wonder and express their opinion regards the possible gender of the baby. By the time the baby steadily grows and finally announces its arrival, the parents have consulted a couple of websites, books and countless people and have narrowed down on possible names. Even as the baby announces its arrival, the parents have been advised by trusted family & friends regards possible doctors who can facilitate the child’s arrival. There are those who are guided by tradition and rituals and they grapple with the various dates when certain functions can be held after considering their and other stakeholder availability.

After all the necessary steps have been taken to gain peace of mind, the parents begin the countdown for the baby’s delivery. In the interim, there are lots of advice regards the lifestyle habits to be followed by the mother and support provided by the father. Post all this, the baby finally arrives and there is joy & jubilation all around. Some element of earlier confusion gets sorted out but the baby brings forth its set of rules & regulations that the couple exposed to parenthood need to adhere to. This stage requires them to determine as regards who takes care of the child at different hours of the day, who wakes up in the middle of the night more often to pacify the baby’s cries and what new antics of theirs catch the attention of the baby. As the baby steadily evolves from mother’s milk, the next piece of advice begins to trickle in regards the timing and kind of solid food that would be better absorbed by the baby. As the baby steadily gains strength, the next aspect of its growth that are keenly looked forward to is when it would take its first baby steps and take on the world. As the baby evolves and people wait, there are lots of advice from experienced folks regards the placement of furniture and other objects on the floor and at lower levels.

As the kid starts running around and giving his parents sleepless nights, the foundation for the next stage is set. The next key decisions involves the kind of nursery that one would like to enroll the child to give him/her the best of experiences. Every nursery have their own USP, and some even have different shifts during the day to facilitate the child’s biological cycle and parents work cycle. Now the parents need to think about the school that one needs to have their child enrolled. They start a round of more being interviewed rather than interview the preferred schools of choice. There are so many decision points that one needs to consider – location, quality, cost, transport, faculty, brand image, affiliation and so on and so forth. The enrolment into the school is just the start of a family saga with the school. There are notices about frequent hikes in fees, new books to be sourced for various courses, extra-curricular activities that goes to enhance the development of the child. And imagine coordinating all this in the midst of all the confusions and challenges that needs to be addressed not just at work, but also empathizing with the child for what they know from experience can be very exasperating!

The school generally begins a new saga when the child begins to question certain assertions that used to be accepted at face value and expresses curiosity about life in general. The parents need to educate the child about relating to people and being prim and proper in public. Imagine the challenges when the child needs to call different people with different names in the Indian languages when all it knows is Uncle/Aunty as being taught at school. At school some challenges that the child faces is the fine balance between academics and extra-curricular activities.

As the years roll on the baby has come out of the cocoon and raced its way closer to a defining period in its life. The child is faced with a defining moment when it arrives in Class X and his/her performance gets evaluated in a larger setting. There are those who prepare for this moment as many a couple of years back. They need to identify as regards the streams that they would like to focus their energies on based on their areas of interest and future potential. There are many advisors who are ever willing to give their counsel as regards reasons why they think the child should take up a particular stream in science, commerce or arts. There are very few who empathize with the child in trying to understand how much do they really understand and make sense of all the information overload that is thrown up on them from all quarters.

All said and done, a decision gets taken and consequences are reaped later either as enjoyment or a sense of regret. In today’s age it no longer is sufficient if one attends college, but one generally also falls prey to the effects of the massive advertisements of various coaching classes. There are discussions on which coaching class has created how many toppers, where are they located, what are their timings, and whether their close friends have also heard/joined the class. It is another matter that they also encounter some coaching class wanting to interview them before they are granted admission. It is the elite zone that they cater to and should you consider yourself wanting to be amongst the best, you need to be the best. It seems the motivation and joy of making an enthusiastic learner to be the best has long been lost on this generation!

As the teenager now spends more time in a new setting away from familiar faces of old, they begin to learn and unlearn new habits. There are constant conflicts as regards heeding the voice of elders versus enjoying the thrill of peers. Many of them begin to see themselves in a new light for the first time in their life and based on their convictions sculpt themselves and shape their future. Some challenges that they are never left tired thinking of besides academics are the attire to be dressed in, the folks to hang out with, the fitness regimes to take up, the joints to frequent, the music to hear, the electronic toys to be equipped with, set goals regards preferred sizes doing the rounds and the places to vacation at. It is never easy but the programming of years slowly strengthens its control on the sensibility of the adult.

As the adult-child goes through college and gains proficiency in certain electives of choice, they complete their graduation and can claim to be proud holders of a certificate that entitles them to apply for white collar jobs and earn their daily bread and butter rather than depend upon parents who have nagged them for the last 21 years! But does the child have respite at this stage? They still need to decide as to whether they need to join the work-force or further specialize or super specialize in their areas of choice.

Its time, a sigh of relief, a grueling academic career is over and the child is excited to join the work-force. How much do they know of the challenges that awaits them as they aim to gain their freedom to live a life of their choice. Depending on their consistent performance over their last years of existence, they are either bombarded with offers or get bombed at the work office. All said and done, most of them do end up in the work-force either working for someone, or having a business of their own. It is just about joining time, and they have their next set of decisions to take up. They are now bombarded with calls from credit card companies, banks offering all kinds of loans, insurance companies marketing their products, two-wheeler and four-wheeler dealers offering their products and zero percent financing. No soon have they started shopping and enjoying their freedom, they get hounded for membership of various schemes on offer. Realization sinks in soon that release from the protected zoo into the wild not just makes one more vulnerable but one needs to develop strength of character to survive and succeed in the face of constant temptations in the market place.

As they begin to steadily gain their footing, they are inundated with proposals of a new kind. There are again a community of advisors recommending suitable brides/grooms to facilitate the adult’s entry from being single into family life. Those who decide to find their own match face their share of challenges, and those who seek the traditional route face a different kind of challenges. The former needs to spend time adjusting to the tricks of the trade in finding a right date, frequent the right places, network effectively, and if required, spend time convincing each other families! The latter category get exposed to a wide variety of astrological perspectives which most do not comprehend, how the stars needs to be propitiated, how their time and place of birth is so very critical, how the placement of stars in their horoscopes seem to determine their destiny so on and so forth. Finally, if horoscopes do match, one should like the photos that gets presented that may not really be taken up by professional photographers as also a lack of understanding that a photogenic face is not the be all and end of life. Even if horoscopes and photos find a match, there needs to be shared interests and intensity of wavelength between the proposed partners. And even if all these do come up trumps, there needs to be the all important compatibility of families, since in Indian families it is not just meeting up of souls, it is primarily a marriage between families! And yes, if all these do find necessary fitment, then comes the mad frenzy of fixing up dates and location and kind of wedding that is customary in Indian traditions.

Once the wedding gets solemnized, and the couple spend the next couple of days understanding each other better and laying down ground rules that they would like to adhere to develop strength in the relationship. As they evolve in their relationship, they also get slowly drawn into the family cycle and begin to relive the challenges that their parents faced before they were conceived. In times to come and as time passes, they demonstrate experience in building/buying their own house, and conducting their marriages of their children.

As one gains experience in being a parent and finds more time on one’s hands with their children flying out of their cages, most of them take time to adjust since they had not cultivated any much interests besides their children. The vacuum gets felt more by the parents and they find ways and means to spend their lives in an meaningful manner. Based on their interests some prefer to listen to religious discourses, some spend time on social causes, some prefer to cultivate new hobbies and many prepare themselves for a new innings of becoming a parent once again. Though this time it is with experience and a prefix of being called Grand-Parent. It is not known which city/country their kids are going to be located at and what kind of people would be around to help them in their times of need, but the selfless ones at that are willing to sacrifice everything for their kids.

Life goes on, and slowly but steadily, the parents grow older. Their challenges multiply and they need to face up the age-related issues. They again need to start exercising their choices when they suffer an ailment as regards the choice of doctors, the tenor of medication, the kind of therapy. Depending upon the way their kids have evolved, and their own choices, they are either fortunate to have them for support and company or prefer to face their challenges rather than bother their kids. A time does come, when everyone has to part, and life comes full cycle. The soul leaves the body for its onward journey and leaves behind a saga of its journey. But decisions continues to be taken, the necessary certificates needs to be taken, the body needs to be either buried/cremated as per religious rituals and it is not one has the right of entry. There again are a series of negotiations though by the successors before what finally remains assimilates back with the dust!

Life has come full cycle. A seed and a sperm had come together to create a life. The person had lived his/her life and affected people who got associated in his/her journey. And then, the light passed on not without not impacting the people around them. At each stage, there were cross-roads, the decisions taken would have had different effects. If one were to associate each cross-road as a big challenge, one would never muster the courage to grow in life and experience the diversity and vagaries that the universe offers. One talks about the constant roadblocks but knowingly and unwittingly one has faced so many that it ceases to surprise why it is considered as one big mountain that people tread to climb! One should take it as a part and parcel of life rather than treat it as something different from self and look at with abject self-doubt and get entrapped in the moorings of life!

An Evening at the Beach

As you placed your tender feet on the wet sand of the beach and shrieked in joy at the excitement of feeling the lapping waves, your sense of joy resembled the confluence of earth and space. And as you observed the beautiful sunset, you soaked in the completeness of the charged up environment. And as you observed other children diving into the waters and retrieving their play balls, the roaring waves appeared to sing to a lullaby and also steadily enjoy the play. And as you demonstrated an interest in wearing the colorful bangles being dangled by the vendors, your attention was suddenly diverted by the color & patterns of various balloons floating up in the sky. And as you wanted to blow the air bubbles, your eyes got attracted by the monkeys competing with the rope man each trying to outwit the other in capturing your attention with their bag of bountiful tricks.

As you watched the clouds making faces at you, you decided to use your newly acquired bow & arrows and challenge them as you had seen in the mythological serial. And your innocent face showed a deep sense of achievement when the sun parted ways from the clouds and shone in its own abundant glory. And as you observed the spread of the ocean as far as your little eyes could see, you felt a need to further inspect the speck of dots that you observed growing larger on the horizon. And as you snatched the binoculars, you began to steadily describe the bobbing series of dots that were gradually increasing in size.

As you were deeply involved in trying to enquire about the fast approaching dots, you were suddenly licked by a small puppy which through its friendly bark seemed to give you an honest sense of approval. And as you reached out your hands to caress the bundle of joy, the puppy suddenly jumped and began to scratch rapidly below your feet. You seemed to be engrossed in the noisy and cheerful yelps by the puppy at regular intervals. And as it proudly proclaimed its find by uncovering a buried tuna fish, you suddenly squealed when you found yourself being surrounded by boisterous crows crowing loudly and wanting to grab a bite. And as you ran away from the crows you seemed to enjoy the melodious tones played by the breeze which was in complete harmony with the ripple of the waves. And as you remarked excitedly about the whistles blowing in the air, your hush-hush tone even seemed to outmatch the love state being exhibited by some speechless couples.

As you got active in searching the sand with you nimble fingers and keen eyes for oysters as you had learnt at school, you suddenly observed a pattern that had got created in the sand. And as you now got involved with your new desire of building a sand castle, your hair seemed to be flying in all directions and the excitement seemed to radiate your entire body. As you proudly finished the work of art on your dream home, you then started to build the bridge between the castle and the sea. And just as you were describing yourself as the princess of the sandcastle you suddenly expressed panic when the rising tide bought waters further onto the shore and engulfed your castle. And as you rushed towards the waters menacingly with your clenched fist and blood-red eyes, as if drawing them out for a confrontation, they suddenly receded as if professing their apologies and rewarded you with a big conch shell. And as your temporary anger vanished your pangs of hunger took over and your attention got diverted by the aroma from the various food stalls away from the salty waters.

As you approached the first stall, you were greeted by the variety of fast food on offer. As you wanted to initially quench your thirst, you decided to make a choice between the coconut vendor and the lime water vendor. As you grappled just for a minute thinking about your choices between the soft fruit with water as compared to the sweet & sour lime water, you finally settled for a deal with the coconut vendor. And as you expressed your desire in climbing up a coconut tree you were attracted by the ringing bell of the ice-cream vendor. And as you eagerly grabbed a bite at your favorite chocolate cone ice-cream, you were curiously attracted to a vendor who had his nose and ears pierced with a crowd gathered around him. And as you were curiously admiring him, you also developed a fascination for the corn that he was roasting and applying a tinge of lemon to spice it up. And as you voraciously made a bite at the sweet & spicy corn, you realized that your sharp teeth were not able to pierce it apart. And after trying all methods, when you finally were able to dislodge one piece of corn, you chewed it well and carried the rest as a trophy in your hands.
As you walked away from the food stalls, you showed your interest in having a photo clicked by the mobile cameraman and expressed your happiness at the promptness with which you were handed your photo in a frame. And as you wound up your day with a joy ride on the back of a camel soaking in the sunset and welcoming the stars, you body moving to & fro in a rhythm seemed as if to reflect on your day gone by and start planning for your next visit to the beach!

Letter to God

My Dear God

Thought of sharing something with you today that I have been thinking about for quite some time. Come to think about it, you must be doing something right on account of which people remember you during times of need. That means you have been able to develop a reputation of being dependable. And that too, you have been consistent over a period of time. It is not that you have been transactional, you believe in developing relationships over a period of time, and have delivered largely to not just meet but exceed people’s expectations. And that truly means you are a high performer who believes in results-orientation.

You seem to be having a vision of how you would like the world to be. That is truly reflected in the broad range of evolutionary changes that you incorporate in the socio-economic and political environment of various locations that make up our world. I am truly surprised as to how do you balance your time in managing the daily operational issues, and also work out strategic interventions.

Guess, you are fairly adept in translating your vision into reality through some gradual interventions and also are willing to take bold steps on the environment front to drive home your message to the world. There sure is one significant advantage that you must be truly enjoying – not having any competitors, but tell me don’t you ever get bored? On second thoughts, having so much work to be done, may not give you the luxury of time to think of boredom, right?

A significant achievement of yours over the ages has been the development of your brand. It is extremely commendable that you have been able to build and position your brand and differentiated the same by responding in a timely manner to various evolutionary developments. Over the ages, there have been countless wise men that have championed your cause, and have reinforced the importance of your role in the wider community and encouraging others to do the same.

I believe that you must be fairly open to change and that is reflected in the countless opportunities that you provide to people to redeem themselves. You do encourage people to question the status quo by encouraging change initiatives when proved necessary. Over the ages it has been proved that you are willing to challenge your own assumptions, and are willing to support people who wish to explore new possibilities and have new beliefs about your own self. You have encouraged people to adopt a range of ideas, and generate creative solutions to radically improve the impact of their evolutionary presence.

Guess, you do have an advantage of seeing the bigger picture, and understanding the interrelationships between complex issues when problem solving. But taking decisions in a timely manner and consistently anticipating the impact of decisions on all stakeholders must not be easy. It must be really tough having to accept the responsibility of all your decisions, since your delegated executors may not always be able to convincingly explain the rationale of some of your pragmatic decisions.

Your deep and insightful understanding of the environment seems to be reflected in the various interventions. It really is a wonder as to how you positively create value for your stakeholders, while balancing the tension between continually seeking and seizing opportunities to accelerate top-line growth in certain locations, and at the same time showing due consideration for costs and risks.

There is no element of doubt, when one looks at your ability to inspire trust within your stakeholders. You have treated people fairly and consistently with dignity and respect and have acted to encourage the development of trust and have justly rewarded those who have selflessly championed your cause and mission.

One thing, that I have never understood is how do you establish performance measures to evaluate the success of your interventions? Am very keen to know as to how do you manage to motivate your key people, and proactively enhance their individual contribution given the fact that you are also known to be empathetic towards poor performers.

You do seem to possess an efficient talent management system, by virtue of which, you are never short of people who are inspired and convey your objectives in a compelling manner that captures the imagination and engages many of us. But as mentioned above, am still keen to know as to how do you manage under-performance. One aspect that I truly appreciate is you creating and providing opportunities for your team to gain visibility and sharing the credit for the success of your vision.

Another aspect that I truly admire is your willingness to back your team to the fullest, and demonstrating the courage in taking tough interventions. You must be taking personal risk and having to accept accountability for all situations, and you have demonstrated an ability to take a stand on principles at all times. Going by today’s standards, it is truly commendable that you are willing to challenge entrenched attitudes and behaviors that impact living a complete existence full of love and peace.

You also seem to be very committed to deliver and demonstrate outstanding service orientation. You are fairly clued into understanding the needs of your target audience, and leverage your network across the globe to offer customized product offerings and services. We do keep hearing of examples where your imaginative customer propositions have enabled you to exceed your follower’s expectations, and only helps them become more loyal customers.

You do use your knowledge of human psychology to expand your follower base, and demonstrate a discerning judgment when using your existing customers to winning new customers. The strong and lasting relationships that your customers share with you are enough proof of your ability to develop tailored solutions as per need and relative significance in terms of priority.



There is not doubt about your capabilities, when it comes to listening attentively and empathizing with your customers. There are situations when frictions, conflicts or disagreements between your stakeholders become evident. However, you do facilitate an environment where there is healthy exchange of ideas and opinions, and people are able to build on each other’s perspectives and reaffirm relationships. It does help that your strong network across the globe helps in achieving the larger objectives.

It has also been observed that you are able to use a broad range of interpersonal styles to match the requirements of any situation, and/or local environment and culture. You do proactively support fairness, and consistently challenge behavior/attitudes that undermine cultural groups or diversity in the larger setting. More importantly, you are able to command attention and engage others when presenting your ideas with passion and conviction. Your enthusiasm plays a key role in shaping and influencing the opinion of all other key stakeholders while reinforcing your credibility through consistently taking decisions that place the universe’s success over local success. Of late, you also seem to be demonstrating an improved awareness of communication and knowledge sharing systems to champion your cause.

You do seem to possess a high level of understanding of self, and do seem to be taking the feedback of your followers and work on the same. Some of the challenging assignments that you have taken up recently further reinforce your ownership of personal development. It is highly noteworthy that you are able to focus on self-development along with attainment of the larger goals that you have outlined to achieve. It is commendable that you not only focus on short-term goals but also have the long term in mind.

One aspect that is beyond dispute is your boundless energy levels, and exceptional levels of drive. Your advocacy of a universe full of love, peace and prosperity, and achieving the same without ignoring the aspects of culture & values does inspire enthusiasm and commitment from your followers. Another aspect that I truly admire is your ability to maintain composure, poise and confidence when dealing with the ambiguous challenges of your followers. You have an appropriately calming influence on your followers in equally demanding and stressful situations.

To summarize your feedback, have written a couplet that you may like to reflect upon for your development plan:

The Universe of yours is just like the lake,
The still waters never reveal the depths in its wake,
Many interpret the universe as shallow and opaque,
Others welcome the necessity of living for its own sake,

There are those who in their journey routinely face a brake,
Others face the same by accepting the condition of give and take,
There are those who need to be woken up with a forceful quake,
Others proactively give themselves a routine shake,
There are those who make it a point to fight for their worldly stake,
Others who are satisfied with their little pieces of cake,
There are those who make an effort to mask their intrinsic spirit that is fake,
Others make the conscious effort to remain spiritually awake,

The challenge is to use your imagination, to manage the multiple situations,
To demonstrate your passion, and commit to your vision,
To enable fusion in alignment with your intended direction,
Enabling a universe of peace, contentment and spirit of compassion.