Conflict Change Management

I do wonder why do people say that one of the principal challenges for many people in today’s age is the aspect of Conflict and Change Management, when right through one’s life it is the main trait that every man seems to have unwittingly spent time cultivating and honing up. May be if we were to trace out the decisions taken through man’s evolution we would recognize that at each stage there are decision points that affects man for times to come. And these are the same decision points which man either revels in or has regrets for times to come.

The stage is set even before conception when the parents decide when they would like to start a family. There are even those who choose a mate based on the kind of features they would like their offspring to have. Once the key decision to start a family is taken and when the mother conceives, a fairly large majority still continue to wonder and express their opinion regards the possible gender of the baby. By the time the baby steadily grows and finally announces its arrival, the parents have consulted a couple of websites, books and countless people and have narrowed down on possible names. Even as the baby announces its arrival, the parents have been advised by trusted family & friends regards possible doctors who can facilitate the child’s arrival. There are those who are guided by tradition and rituals and they grapple with the various dates when certain functions can be held after considering their and other stakeholder availability.

After all the necessary steps have been taken to gain peace of mind, the parents begin the countdown for the baby’s delivery. In the interim, there are lots of advice regards the lifestyle habits to be followed by the mother and support provided by the father. Post all this, the baby finally arrives and there is joy & jubilation all around. Some element of earlier confusion gets sorted out but the baby brings forth its set of rules & regulations that the couple exposed to parenthood need to adhere to. This stage requires them to determine as regards who takes care of the child at different hours of the day, who wakes up in the middle of the night more often to pacify the baby’s cries and what new antics of theirs catch the attention of the baby. As the baby steadily evolves from mother’s milk, the next piece of advice begins to trickle in regards the timing and kind of solid food that would be better absorbed by the baby. As the baby steadily gains strength, the next aspect of its growth that are keenly looked forward to is when it would take its first baby steps and take on the world. As the baby evolves and people wait, there are lots of advice from experienced folks regards the placement of furniture and other objects on the floor and at lower levels.

As the kid starts running around and giving his parents sleepless nights, the foundation for the next stage is set. The next key decisions involves the kind of nursery that one would like to enroll the child to give him/her the best of experiences. Every nursery have their own USP, and some even have different shifts during the day to facilitate the child’s biological cycle and parents work cycle. Now the parents need to think about the school that one needs to have their child enrolled. They start a round of more being interviewed rather than interview the preferred schools of choice. There are so many decision points that one needs to consider – location, quality, cost, transport, faculty, brand image, affiliation and so on and so forth. The enrolment into the school is just the start of a family saga with the school. There are notices about frequent hikes in fees, new books to be sourced for various courses, extra-curricular activities that goes to enhance the development of the child. And imagine coordinating all this in the midst of all the confusions and challenges that needs to be addressed not just at work, but also empathizing with the child for what they know from experience can be very exasperating!

The school generally begins a new saga when the child begins to question certain assertions that used to be accepted at face value and expresses curiosity about life in general. The parents need to educate the child about relating to people and being prim and proper in public. Imagine the challenges when the child needs to call different people with different names in the Indian languages when all it knows is Uncle/Aunty as being taught at school. At school some challenges that the child faces is the fine balance between academics and extra-curricular activities.

As the years roll on the baby has come out of the cocoon and raced its way closer to a defining period in its life. The child is faced with a defining moment when it arrives in Class X and his/her performance gets evaluated in a larger setting. There are those who prepare for this moment as many a couple of years back. They need to identify as regards the streams that they would like to focus their energies on based on their areas of interest and future potential. There are many advisors who are ever willing to give their counsel as regards reasons why they think the child should take up a particular stream in science, commerce or arts. There are very few who empathize with the child in trying to understand how much do they really understand and make sense of all the information overload that is thrown up on them from all quarters.

All said and done, a decision gets taken and consequences are reaped later either as enjoyment or a sense of regret. In today’s age it no longer is sufficient if one attends college, but one generally also falls prey to the effects of the massive advertisements of various coaching classes. There are discussions on which coaching class has created how many toppers, where are they located, what are their timings, and whether their close friends have also heard/joined the class. It is another matter that they also encounter some coaching class wanting to interview them before they are granted admission. It is the elite zone that they cater to and should you consider yourself wanting to be amongst the best, you need to be the best. It seems the motivation and joy of making an enthusiastic learner to be the best has long been lost on this generation!

As the teenager now spends more time in a new setting away from familiar faces of old, they begin to learn and unlearn new habits. There are constant conflicts as regards heeding the voice of elders versus enjoying the thrill of peers. Many of them begin to see themselves in a new light for the first time in their life and based on their convictions sculpt themselves and shape their future. Some challenges that they are never left tired thinking of besides academics are the attire to be dressed in, the folks to hang out with, the fitness regimes to take up, the joints to frequent, the music to hear, the electronic toys to be equipped with, set goals regards preferred sizes doing the rounds and the places to vacation at. It is never easy but the programming of years slowly strengthens its control on the sensibility of the adult.

As the adult-child goes through college and gains proficiency in certain electives of choice, they complete their graduation and can claim to be proud holders of a certificate that entitles them to apply for white collar jobs and earn their daily bread and butter rather than depend upon parents who have nagged them for the last 21 years! But does the child have respite at this stage? They still need to decide as to whether they need to join the work-force or further specialize or super specialize in their areas of choice.

Its time, a sigh of relief, a grueling academic career is over and the child is excited to join the work-force. How much do they know of the challenges that awaits them as they aim to gain their freedom to live a life of their choice. Depending on their consistent performance over their last years of existence, they are either bombarded with offers or get bombed at the work office. All said and done, most of them do end up in the work-force either working for someone, or having a business of their own. It is just about joining time, and they have their next set of decisions to take up. They are now bombarded with calls from credit card companies, banks offering all kinds of loans, insurance companies marketing their products, two-wheeler and four-wheeler dealers offering their products and zero percent financing. No soon have they started shopping and enjoying their freedom, they get hounded for membership of various schemes on offer. Realization sinks in soon that release from the protected zoo into the wild not just makes one more vulnerable but one needs to develop strength of character to survive and succeed in the face of constant temptations in the market place.

As they begin to steadily gain their footing, they are inundated with proposals of a new kind. There are again a community of advisors recommending suitable brides/grooms to facilitate the adult’s entry from being single into family life. Those who decide to find their own match face their share of challenges, and those who seek the traditional route face a different kind of challenges. The former needs to spend time adjusting to the tricks of the trade in finding a right date, frequent the right places, network effectively, and if required, spend time convincing each other families! The latter category get exposed to a wide variety of astrological perspectives which most do not comprehend, how the stars needs to be propitiated, how their time and place of birth is so very critical, how the placement of stars in their horoscopes seem to determine their destiny so on and so forth. Finally, if horoscopes do match, one should like the photos that gets presented that may not really be taken up by professional photographers as also a lack of understanding that a photogenic face is not the be all and end of life. Even if horoscopes and photos find a match, there needs to be shared interests and intensity of wavelength between the proposed partners. And even if all these do come up trumps, there needs to be the all important compatibility of families, since in Indian families it is not just meeting up of souls, it is primarily a marriage between families! And yes, if all these do find necessary fitment, then comes the mad frenzy of fixing up dates and location and kind of wedding that is customary in Indian traditions.

Once the wedding gets solemnized, and the couple spend the next couple of days understanding each other better and laying down ground rules that they would like to adhere to develop strength in the relationship. As they evolve in their relationship, they also get slowly drawn into the family cycle and begin to relive the challenges that their parents faced before they were conceived. In times to come and as time passes, they demonstrate experience in building/buying their own house, and conducting their marriages of their children.

As one gains experience in being a parent and finds more time on one’s hands with their children flying out of their cages, most of them take time to adjust since they had not cultivated any much interests besides their children. The vacuum gets felt more by the parents and they find ways and means to spend their lives in an meaningful manner. Based on their interests some prefer to listen to religious discourses, some spend time on social causes, some prefer to cultivate new hobbies and many prepare themselves for a new innings of becoming a parent once again. Though this time it is with experience and a prefix of being called Grand-Parent. It is not known which city/country their kids are going to be located at and what kind of people would be around to help them in their times of need, but the selfless ones at that are willing to sacrifice everything for their kids.

Life goes on, and slowly but steadily, the parents grow older. Their challenges multiply and they need to face up the age-related issues. They again need to start exercising their choices when they suffer an ailment as regards the choice of doctors, the tenor of medication, the kind of therapy. Depending upon the way their kids have evolved, and their own choices, they are either fortunate to have them for support and company or prefer to face their challenges rather than bother their kids. A time does come, when everyone has to part, and life comes full cycle. The soul leaves the body for its onward journey and leaves behind a saga of its journey. But decisions continues to be taken, the necessary certificates needs to be taken, the body needs to be either buried/cremated as per religious rituals and it is not one has the right of entry. There again are a series of negotiations though by the successors before what finally remains assimilates back with the dust!

Life has come full cycle. A seed and a sperm had come together to create a life. The person had lived his/her life and affected people who got associated in his/her journey. And then, the light passed on not without not impacting the people around them. At each stage, there were cross-roads, the decisions taken would have had different effects. If one were to associate each cross-road as a big challenge, one would never muster the courage to grow in life and experience the diversity and vagaries that the universe offers. One talks about the constant roadblocks but knowingly and unwittingly one has faced so many that it ceases to surprise why it is considered as one big mountain that people tread to climb! One should take it as a part and parcel of life rather than treat it as something different from self and look at with abject self-doubt and get entrapped in the moorings of life!

Moon Light

You are literally the soothing moonlight
The best boon experienced by one and many at twilight
As the warm sun decides to take its daily flight
You make your presence known by understanding our plight

The calmness when you are around, the mystery of your sound,
The effects even on the sea are present for everyone to see,
The reclusive owl decides to come out for a prowl,
The wild dogs express their joy by letting out their nocturnal howl

Your brightness are but just a reflection of your various moods
As you demonstrate your various faces from your placid heights
As the weary traveler takes rest under your soothing care
You envelop him completely unmindful of your intensity of need to bear

You provide a relaxing anchor with your calming presence
The night queen is inspired to release her intrinsic essence
The flicker of lights around you justifies your lack of pretense
Consumed by passion creatures all around seem to lose their sense

There are times when in your journey you want your own space
You decide to completely withdraw and darkness envelops the maze
However your benevolence prevails and you come out as a shy bride
Ready to nurture the world and willing to face head on all kinds of tide

You are forever present absorbing all the heat and glare
Unmindful eyes never understand your all pervasive care
The wise one never misses your role in this world of insanity
Ready to shower your blessings at all times without a hint of vanity!

Wonders of a Tree

I had just sail on my ship called “The Elixir of Life”
When an angel came and expressed a desire to help me understand life
I was enchanted by the beauty and the musical voice of my angel
Who had appraised me of her desire to help me uncover the secrets of life

I wanted to know more about the wonders of the plant kingdom
And she suggested that I start by understanding the basic structure of a tree
I was enchanted by her comparison of a tree to the life of a human
But the selfless benefits of which extended beyond generations that one could fathom

It all starts like any with a small little seed
It may or may not be with any preconceived need
Nature may assist or resist the growth in terms of its daily feed
But the eternal principles in life decides whether the tree lives to fulfill its deed

It starts with a sprout, a tiny one focused on its task
Unmindful of the challenges, slowly uncovering its mask
A drop of water, a granule of manure, a breath of fresh air, the right soil,
And slowly but steadily one finds the sprout extend into a sapling

The sapling grows with faith unmindful of its future
Moment by moment, day by day, it slowly begins to mature
As it reaches out its arms to the wide expanse of sky
It does seem that it wants to break away and start to fly

The sapling however stays grounded and then begins to spread its wings
The tenderness develops a strength and then uncovers its hidden string
The leaves provide fodder for the little ones from the insect world
As it provides the glue for resting & nesting for the little feathery birds

The sapling reveals its wonderful gift of creation, the enchanting flower,
As it grows in its bosom, the fragrance attracts and reveals its hidden power,
The morning dew on the leaves is matched by the colorful and tender petals,
As the bees and the birds compete for the nectar and try to prove their mettle

As they engage in the art of drawing and drinking to their fill,
They are unmindful of the survival instinct of the sapling that had already written its will
The seeds from the flower are scattered all along to enable its procreation,
There are hopes of a new generation that brightens and cheers the hopes of a new creation

As the sapling takes care of its primal survival instinct
It also grows by leaps and bounds to provide shade for many
It does no differentiation as regards species of the world
It forever continues to hum as it slowly uncovers its mould.
The leaves provide food, the flower provides honey
The foliage provides shade, the fruits satisfy hunger
As it lives and flowers, many a life does it cover,
As it slowly withers away, it ensures memories forever

My salute to thee, the wonder of a tree,
No comparisons as you learn to co-exist without fury
The color and fragrance continues to delight and persist
The warmth and shade for generations continue to exist.
My salute to thee, the wonder of a tree,

Abundance

Why restrict yourself to swimming in the pool when you have the expanse of sea
Why restrict yourself to walking in the zoo when you have the gift of wild nature
Why restrict yourself to a miserly shower when you can indulge in nature’s snow
Why restrict yourself to being trapped by the earth when you have the enchanting space

Why to restrict yourself to man made fragrance when you can smell the aroma of nature
Why to restrict yourself to man made time when you can space out at nature’s own pace
Why to restrict yourself to man created music when you can hear nature’s soulful tunes
Why to restrict yourself to the world of humans when the universe has lots more to offer

Why to experience man created pollution when nature shows its distress at evolution
Why to get trapped in man created attractions in the midst of nature which is self elation
Why to experience man created stress when nature is ever willing to share and caress
Why to get lost in the ways of the world when you rather indulge the bounty of nature

Why restrict yourself to a field of specialization when you can be curious about evolution
Why restrict yourself to superficial relationships when you can enjoy nature’s innocent courtship
Why restrict yourself to a series of activities rather than experience every moment of time
Why get caught in the cycle of earning a dime, when you can rather than get lost in nature’s rhythm and rhyme!

An Evening at the Beach

As you placed your tender feet on the wet sand of the beach and shrieked in joy at the excitement of feeling the lapping waves, your sense of joy resembled the confluence of earth and space. And as you observed the beautiful sunset, you soaked in the completeness of the charged up environment. And as you observed other children diving into the waters and retrieving their play balls, the roaring waves appeared to sing to a lullaby and also steadily enjoy the play. And as you demonstrated an interest in wearing the colorful bangles being dangled by the vendors, your attention was suddenly diverted by the color & patterns of various balloons floating up in the sky. And as you wanted to blow the air bubbles, your eyes got attracted by the monkeys competing with the rope man each trying to outwit the other in capturing your attention with their bag of bountiful tricks.

As you watched the clouds making faces at you, you decided to use your newly acquired bow & arrows and challenge them as you had seen in the mythological serial. And your innocent face showed a deep sense of achievement when the sun parted ways from the clouds and shone in its own abundant glory. And as you observed the spread of the ocean as far as your little eyes could see, you felt a need to further inspect the speck of dots that you observed growing larger on the horizon. And as you snatched the binoculars, you began to steadily describe the bobbing series of dots that were gradually increasing in size.

As you were deeply involved in trying to enquire about the fast approaching dots, you were suddenly licked by a small puppy which through its friendly bark seemed to give you an honest sense of approval. And as you reached out your hands to caress the bundle of joy, the puppy suddenly jumped and began to scratch rapidly below your feet. You seemed to be engrossed in the noisy and cheerful yelps by the puppy at regular intervals. And as it proudly proclaimed its find by uncovering a buried tuna fish, you suddenly squealed when you found yourself being surrounded by boisterous crows crowing loudly and wanting to grab a bite. And as you ran away from the crows you seemed to enjoy the melodious tones played by the breeze which was in complete harmony with the ripple of the waves. And as you remarked excitedly about the whistles blowing in the air, your hush-hush tone even seemed to outmatch the love state being exhibited by some speechless couples.

As you got active in searching the sand with you nimble fingers and keen eyes for oysters as you had learnt at school, you suddenly observed a pattern that had got created in the sand. And as you now got involved with your new desire of building a sand castle, your hair seemed to be flying in all directions and the excitement seemed to radiate your entire body. As you proudly finished the work of art on your dream home, you then started to build the bridge between the castle and the sea. And just as you were describing yourself as the princess of the sandcastle you suddenly expressed panic when the rising tide bought waters further onto the shore and engulfed your castle. And as you rushed towards the waters menacingly with your clenched fist and blood-red eyes, as if drawing them out for a confrontation, they suddenly receded as if professing their apologies and rewarded you with a big conch shell. And as your temporary anger vanished your pangs of hunger took over and your attention got diverted by the aroma from the various food stalls away from the salty waters.

As you approached the first stall, you were greeted by the variety of fast food on offer. As you wanted to initially quench your thirst, you decided to make a choice between the coconut vendor and the lime water vendor. As you grappled just for a minute thinking about your choices between the soft fruit with water as compared to the sweet & sour lime water, you finally settled for a deal with the coconut vendor. And as you expressed your desire in climbing up a coconut tree you were attracted by the ringing bell of the ice-cream vendor. And as you eagerly grabbed a bite at your favorite chocolate cone ice-cream, you were curiously attracted to a vendor who had his nose and ears pierced with a crowd gathered around him. And as you were curiously admiring him, you also developed a fascination for the corn that he was roasting and applying a tinge of lemon to spice it up. And as you voraciously made a bite at the sweet & spicy corn, you realized that your sharp teeth were not able to pierce it apart. And after trying all methods, when you finally were able to dislodge one piece of corn, you chewed it well and carried the rest as a trophy in your hands.
As you walked away from the food stalls, you showed your interest in having a photo clicked by the mobile cameraman and expressed your happiness at the promptness with which you were handed your photo in a frame. And as you wound up your day with a joy ride on the back of a camel soaking in the sunset and welcoming the stars, you body moving to & fro in a rhythm seemed as if to reflect on your day gone by and start planning for your next visit to the beach!

Last But One Day

It is the penultimate day, before this journey ends
There have been so many twists and countless bends
That one wonders how one managed to retain sanity
In the craze of the worldly charms that knows no equanimity

I look back at the start and realize that I had no say,
In so many matters that I thought I had the final say
There are so many life actions that molded like clay
But the actions when executed were not child’s play

Alongside the journey, there were many interactions,
Interesting people sharing their own perception
There were so many conflicts from inception to completion
That the road less traveled seemed an eternal congestion

There were times when one had to juggle multiple acts
There were times when one felt that there is a compromise on a pact
There were times when one felt the necessity to let go of tact
But one realized that not everyone have values sacrosanct

There are times when one realized the need to educate
There were times when one felt the need to no longer oscillate
There were times when one felt the need to eradicate set pattern
But one realized that not everyone prefers to light the lantern

Tomorrow would be another day signifying the end of a cycle,
A start of a new life, with potential unknown and untested
It takes courage to let go of the past to capture the territories vast
In the ultimate aim of having your flag flying at full mast!

Stars in the Sky

I peered into my telescope and looked at the sky
The millions of dots captured my starry eye
I loosened my tie, and let out my favorite war cry
On identifying the shapes between the dots as time let fly

I imagined the stars engage into a conversation
Trying to understand and assess the human condition
For a moment I began to draw up a series of hypothesis
About the travel between stars that eventually found no basis

I imagined the stars twinkle at one another,
A policeman capture them in the act of winking at one another,
The stars pleading to them that it is their predisposition,
The policeman mentioning that they can’t let loose their emotion

I imagined the stars revolving around one another,
The one in the centre feeling good being the centre of attraction
The revolving stars eyeing for a piece of attention,
The one in the centre eyeing the right one resulting in fatal attraction

I imagined the stars observing the sudden flashes from earth
And chuckling that the one-time blasts could cause them no hurt
They were the undisputed emperors of the universe
And a walk on the ramp always evoked open eyed stares

The stars eyed the planet, they rarely ever met,
The rules were set, how much ever one begins to fret,
They were light years away, and would need a new invention,
To explain their world and the genesis of creation

Insights on Principles

Always vote for a principle, though you vote along, and you may cherish the sweet reflection that your vote is never lost………John Quincy Adams

He who floats with the current, who does not guide himself according to higher principles, who has no ideal, no convictions – such a man is a mere article of the world’s furniture – a thing moved, instead of a living and moving being – an echo, not a voice…….Henry Frederic Amiel

Many people are liberal in principle, reluctant in practice……..John Burgess

He who merely knows the right principles, is not equal to him who loves them……..Confucius

Men of principle are always bold, but those who are bold are not always men of principle….Confucius

A precedent embalms a principle……….Benjamin Disraeli

We have always found that, if our principles are right, the area over which they applied did not matter. Size is only a matter of the multiplication table…….Henry Ford

So act that your principle of action might safely be made a law for the whole world….Immanuel Kant

Many men do not allow their principles to take root, but pull them up every now and then, as children do the flowers they have planted, to see if they are growing…….Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection. Its the business of little minds to shrink, ut he whose heart is firm and whose conscience approves his conduct, will pursue his principles unto death……Thomas Paine

In life it is possible merely to throw a heap of stones together, but this pile is not beautiful. We pyramid to the heights only when we lay stone on stone according to a beautiful plan. If we have no faith in the principles with which we build life, we are defeated……W.N.Thomas

Thoughts on Proacrastination

“But” is a word that cools many a warm impulse, stifles many a kindly thought, puts a dead stop to many a brotherly deed. No one would ever love his neighbor as himself if he listened to all the buts that could be said…….Edward Lytton

By the street of By-and-By, one arrives at the home of Never…….Miguel De Cervantes

Postponement: the sincerest form of rejection……..Robert Half

Putting off a hard thing makes it impossible……..George Horace Lorimer

Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday……….Donald Marquis

While we are postponing, life speeds by………..Soneca

Birthday

All of us living folks do assume a matter of right
The inheritance of a legacy of a date when we first came into sight,
A day in our life that can never be undone,
A memory in our life that gets forever etched in stone

As the day approaches we plan to go all out for a celebration
As the day arrives we experience a strange mix of emotion
Another day, and another year, we seem to have grown older
Another chapter of life that is forever captured in our life folder

Some plan a visit to a place of religious worship
Some plan to alleviate another man’s hardship
The wishes from near and dear makes one feel joyful
The inherent nature of the day relieves the worries and makes one playful

A time when some of us consciously indulge in self reflection
A time when some of us plan to go beyond our zones of restriction
A time when some of us finally decide to let go our frustration
A time when some of us appreciate the wonder of creation

Some say like old wine, people mature with age
Some say like an old carriage, people carry lot of baggage
Some say like a prisoner of vice, it resembles the rolling of a pair of dice
Some say it is the least price to gain entry into the kingdom of wise

The day does dish out a menu of a very unique blend
The full expose into the garden of life that one constantly tends
The day as per the laws of nature has to come to an end
The daily issues in the journey of life one still needs to attend

The end of the day, the continuity of the play,
The experiences of life as one continues one stay
The canvas of life gets its color from the painter’s tray,
The evolved soul continues to celebrate every day as his birthday!